5 Simple Steps to Preventing “Dad Bod”, Maintaining a Loving Marriage, and Making a Happy Baby: A Fun Guide for New Dads!

Dad Bod

I hope everyone had a happy Father’s Day! It was a special one for me because it was my first Father’s Day. As a new dad, I can really appreciate why a special day is dedicated for honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood. What should not be celebrated, however, is the dreaded “dad bod”.

Most people know what a dad bod is.  It was all the rage a few years ago.  And the phenomenon was made even more popular when photos surfaced of Leonardo DiCaprio at the beach with a flabby gut hanging over his board shorts. Using google images, search “dad bod” and you’ll see what I mean.

What exactly is dad bod? According to an authoritative source (Urban Dictionary, of course):

“Dad bod” is a male body type that is best described as “softly round.” It’s built upon the theory that once a man has found a mate and fathered a child, he doesn’t need to worry about maintaining a sculpted physique.”

Apparently, Clemson University student Mackenzie Pearson coined the term in a popular essay that went viral.  In her essay she states:

“The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. It says, ‘I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.’

The “Dad Bod” Syndrome

While the dad bod physique is glamorized these days, it should not be celebrated because it isn’t a sign of good health. Simply put, having a dad bod is not healthy. And neither is heavy drinking or eating eight slices of pizza at a time!

The central feature of the dad bod is the “beer belly” gut. This abdominal “central obesity” is strongly correlated with an increase in heart disease, metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance, and diabetes.

Call to Action for all Dads: Prevent Dad Bod Syndrome!

Being a new dad, I know how hard it is. There seems to be never enough time for anything these days. Prior to becoming a dad, I had a pretty good self-care routine going. Then my life changed since we had a baby. One might ask: How do I find the time to take care of myself when I’m busy taking care of my wife and baby?

You’re just in luck because I have the answer for you!

I’m going to break it down into 5 simple steps:

1. Sleep
2. Love
3. Eat
4. Exercise
5. Play

Yes, you read it right. This acronym spells S.L.E.E.P.!

I know it sounds simple and everybody’s case is different and individualized, but hear me out for a moment.

S.L.E.E.P. is the secret to preventing dad bod, maintaining a loving marriage, and making your baby a smart and happy child.

Let me explain…

Sleep

The first part of S.L.E.E.P is, well…sleep.

When we first announced that we were having a baby, the first bit of advice that almost everybody told us was “Make sure you get enough sleep now, because you’re going to miss it later once baby is born!”

And everybody who said this is absolutely correct. Sleep is something that is harder to come by. But don’t skimp out on it. Sleep is important!

Preventing dad bod

Studies show that there is a correlation between sleep deprivation and obesity. Sleep deficiency alters our metabolism and disrupts the hormones that regulate glucose metabolism, appetite, and hunger. When we are tired due to sleep deprivation, we can often mistake “tiredness” with “hunger”, so it is often easier to overeat when we don’t get adequate sleep.

Obesity and sleep deficiency are both correlated to heart disease and other chronic diseases that can lead to an earl demise. Don’t let your sleep-deprived dad bod bring you one step closer to becoming a dead bod!

I know it’s easier said than done, but try to get enough sleep.

Maintaining a loving marriage

According to John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and author of the book Brain Rules for Baby (not affiliate link), the four most common sources of marital conflict in the transition to parenthood are: sleep loss, social isolation, unequal workload, and depression.

Interestingly, sleep deprivation is also associated with anxiety, depression, and mood dysfunction. I don’t know about you, but whenever I don’t get enough sleep I feel downright grouchy. The same goes for my wife. Sleep deprived couples are more likely to argue and not treat each other so kindly.

I know it can be difficult, but for the sake of your marriage, try to get enough sleep.

Making a smart and happy baby

Whoever coined the term “sleeping like a baby” obviously didn’t have a baby. It can be really challenging to put a baby to sleep! But babies definitely need sleep. It is vital for their brain development. And babies tend to get fussy and irritable with they don’t get enough sleep.

Do anything you can to help your baby sleep. Rocking, swinging, humming, singing, using a pacifier or white noise. Whatever it takes.

When baby sleeps, mom and dad are more likely to sleep too. Getting enough sleep helps to make a happy family.

Fortunately, our baby is finally sleeping better and is generally happy when awake. And luckily I have a very understanding wife who lets me get about 7 to 7.5 hours of sleep!

Love

Love is important too!

While love is hard to describe, one definition of love is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. We are social creatures who long for this type of personal attachment. Love can give a person a sense that they are worthy and valuable. Without love, life may feel empty and less meaningful.

Preventing dad bod

Love can be instrumental in helping to prevent dad bod.

Feelings of love are associated with positive emotional sentiments. To be loved often means that you have a source of emotional attachment and strong social support. The positive feelings and emotional support that love brings can help people prevent or heal distressed mental states such as anxiety and depression, which can be detrimental to our physical health.

Love gives us a sense of positive well-being. It is the power of love that motivates us to be more than we thought we could be.

Because love can positively impact our mental and physical health, love can help new dads prevent “dad bod” syndrome.

Maintaining a loving marriage

This is self-explanatory. In order to maintain a loving marriage, all you need is love! 🙂

Of course, like everything else, this is easier said than done. It is estimated that more than 80% of couples experience a huge drop in marital quality during the transition to parenthood. And as I mentioned above, the four most common sources of marital conflict in the transition to parenthood are: sleep loss, social isolation, unequal workload, and depression.

In order to maintain a loving marriage, it is critical for couples to discuss these common sources of marital turbulence with patience and compassion. And it is important to communicate with empathy through the same love language as each other.

Just a reminder, the 5 Love Languages are:

1. Words of affirmation.  A simple “I love you” or “I appreciate it when you do this…” are great examples of what we do. Name-calling (or any hurtful words) is a definite no-no and never results in anything good.
2. Quality time. For us, this means being present and giving affectionate, undivided attention.
3. Acts of service. Whether it is helping with the dishes or cooking a home-cooked meal, acts of service is another way we like to show love.
4. Physical touch. This can be cuddling, sex, massage, hand-holding, or any kind of affectionate touching.
5. Receiving gifts. Some people give and expect gifts to demonstrate love.

Empathy reduces hostility and increases understanding. Being patient, compassionate, and empathetic is the key to maintaining a loving marriage.

Making a smart and happy baby

While maintaining a loving marriage is certainly beneficial for mom and dad, it is also important for baby’s development.

Having a happy marriage is critical to a baby’s happiness. Babies are always observing their parents. And eventually, babies will grow up to model their parent’s behavior. Therefore, it is important to demonstrate love and kindness.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, sustained exposure to hostility and stress can erode a baby’s IQ and ability to handle stress. The brain cares about survival before learning. If a baby feels threatened or unsafe, learning will not occur.

I try to perform various acts of service by actively helping out with child care. This can be in the form of changing diapers, soothing baby to sleep, playing with baby, cooking for mom, etc. By doing this, I am evening out the child care workload and spending quality time with baby. A win-win!

Eat

What we eat is very important and has a powerful impact on our health, fitness, and overall well-being.

Preventing dad bod

Ever heard the saying “Abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym”? It’s true! No matter how much we exercise, it’s impossible to work off a terrible diet if we consume more calories than we can burn.

In many ways, it sort of follows the Pareto Principle. Of all the factors that contribute to our health and fitness (e.g. exercise, diet, sleep, stress management, etc.), our diet has the greatest impact. Roughly 80% of our health consequences are affected by 20% of our habits; and that important 20% is our diet.

While it would be terrific if everybody in the world ate a frugal, healthy, whole food plant-centric diet like I do, I’m also realistic; not everybody has the desire or will power to do it.

But here are some simple guidelines for eating a healthy diet to prevent dad bod:

1. Eat until you are 80% full. Do not overeat and stuff yourself.
2. Cook at least 80% of your meals at home with fresh ingredients. No added preservatives, colors, chemicals, or artificial flavors.
3. By following #2, you will avoid eating processed food, junk food, and fast food (which are terrible for your health)
4. Try to consume at least 80% (or all if you can) of your calories from whole food plant sources. Plant foods have contain less dioxins and obesogens compared to food from animal sources.
5. At least 80% of your liquid consumption should be water. Sugary sweetened drinks are terrible for you and should be avoided. Alcohol should also be limited. You don’t want a dad bod beer belly!

In summary: Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants.

Maintaining a loving marriage

It takes a lot of energy to maintain a loving marriage. Eating a healthy diet will provide the fuel you need to accomplish it!

Making a smart and happy baby

As I mentioned earlier, baby will be happier and smarter when allowed to thrive in a loving and supportive environment.

Exercise

Exercise is another key component of a healthy lifestyle.

Preventing dad bod

In addition to a healthy diet, exercise can also help in maintaining a healthy weight, losing fat, and gaining lean body mass. This is all essential to preventing the dreaded dad bod physique.

I know it’s hard as a new dad to find the time to exercise. But all you need is 15-20 minutes a day. I don’t go to the gym as often as I did before having a baby, but I still find the time to do 100 pushups and sit-ups most days.

To hold me more accountable, I joined a June weight loss challenge that was organized by TheSmartFI (go check out his site!). My goal is to lose 3 pounds total. My ultimate goal is to lose 5 pounds of fat while hopefully gaining 2 more pounds of lean body mass. I want to lose those pesky “love handles”!!

Maintaining a loving marriage

In addition to improving our physique, exercise can also improve our mood, increase our energy levels, and promote better sleep.  These are all important factors that can help maintain a loving marriage.

Making a smart and happy baby

One creative way to make your baby happy is to exercise with her/him!

In case you didn’t know, most newborns like movement. This is because while they were inside the womb, they were used to constant motion while mom was awake.

And another fun  (not so fun) fact is that newborns cry. It is a way for them to communicate. Maybe baby is hungry. Or maybe baby needs a diaper change. Perhaps baby is tired. Sometimes babies cry because they want to be held and carried.

As a new dad, I got a lot of exercise by carrying and moving with my baby! When she would cry, I would often carry her and walk around the house to help soothe her. I definitely got a lot of steps in!

I even did things like deep squats (great leg workout) and bouncing her around on an exercise ball (working out those abs!). Anything to make baby happy! 🙂

Play

To play is to engage in activity for enjoyment, leisure, and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose. Play and leisure time are important components of a healthy lifestyle.

Preventing dad bod

Since the birth of our baby girl, I made the conscious decision to work less and spend more leisure time with my wife and baby. This has decreased the level of work-related stress and increased my overall happiness.

Along with a healthy diet and regular exercise, stress management and enjoying life also help in maintaining a healthy physique.

Maintaining a loving marriage

By not working as much, I am spending much more quality time (one of the 5 love languages) with my wife at home.

Nowadays, we spend a majority of our leisure time playing with our baby, which is both fun and relaxing.

We also try to take family walks around the community parks. Once in awhile we will go out to eat or go to the beach with baby.

When baby is a little older, we may do date nights too. We’ll see.

Making a smart and happy baby

Parental bonding and social interaction is vital for baby’s mental and emotional development.

A lot of what scientists know about parental bonding and the brain comes from studies of children who spent time in Romanian orphanages during a time of oppression in the 1980s and 1990s. Though these studies, scientist have shown that without a reliable source of human contact, attention, affection, and stimulation, brain wiring can be negatively altered leading to stunting of growth and a range of mental problems.

Because of this, we try to play with our baby as much as we can!

We try to read to her, talk to her, and engage with her every day. Seeing her smile and hearing her giggle is an absolute joy!

In Summary

There you have it. My 5 simple steps to preventing dad bod (and maintaining a loving relationship while making a smart and happy baby) is sleep, love, eat, exercise, and play. So far, I think that I am doing a pretty darn good job of all aspects of S.L.E.E.P. 🙂

As a disclaimer, this post is intended for educational purposes only. I am not certified fitness instructor, marriage counselor, or anything close to an expert at parenting.

But if you do happen to want unsolicited parenting advice, check this out. I thought it as funny AF. 😀