Yup. $#@! just got real. I’m officially a father now.
Our baby came two weeks early and she was born just last week. She is beautifully precious and we love her so much. The night that she was born, I simply could not take my eyes off of her. I now know how much love a parent can have for their child. It’s really indescribable and incredible.
The (Short) Story of the Birth of Our Baby
Just a few days after starting maternity leave, my wife’s “water broke” in the middle of the night / early morning. It’s funny because on that night, she talked about how she was fully mentally prepared to have our baby. I guess at that moment, she just knew.
We grabbed our already-packed overnight bags and drove to the hospital (a familiar place because it’s where I primarily work). We arrived at 2:30 in the morning. Labor dragged on for two days and then active labor came relatively quickly. Before I knew it, our baby made her grand entrance to the world.
I am particularly proud of my wife (not sure if you can tell from previous posts) because she was able to go through a natural child birth without an epidural or pain medications. This is especially astounding because I am an anesthesiologist and interventional pain management specialist. I pretty much do epidurals for a living. While she knew how safe epidurals are for pregnant women (and most, approximately 60-80% of women, do get epidurals), her plan all along was to have a natural child birth and she toughed it out. Kudos to her.
Initial Thoughts on Being a Parent
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My roles and responsibilities have expanded.
While we were in the hospital L&D, I was everything from a masseuse (applying counter pressure on my wife’s sacrum to naturally relieve labor pain) to a labor coach and supportive husband. Now that we are home with the baby, I am a father and so much more. I am a cook, dishwasher, errands-runner, house cleaner, launderer, and diaper changer. I would always help out with household chores, but my wife would do the majority of it. Because our baby is exclusively breast-feeding, she has little time for anything else other than the continuous cycle of breast-feeding the baby and eating food for herself (she has to replenish those calories!) every two to three hours. And guess who has to continuously cook and provide those meals. You guessed it: me. Luckily her mom cooks too, and most times its more than we can eat!
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Being first-time parents is exhausting, but totally worth it
- Since our baby was born, it feels like we have been on-call 24/7, making sure she is breathing, eating, pooping, peeing, and overall staying alive. Totally different than (but oddly similar to) managing a patient’s airway/breathing and measuring the I/O’s. Trust me, it’s way tougher than residency! My wife hasn’t had more than two consecutive hours of sleep since our baby girl was born. Since I don’t have breast-feeding duties, I am able to get a little more sleep. I hear it gets a little better after four weeks. And maybe parenting will get easier with the second (and/or maybe third) child. We shall see.
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Each day is a new day full of wonder
Every single expression, action, and sound that she makes is brand new and wonderfully magical. Slowly it seems like she is learning to lift her head up high and move in a way that sort of resembles a crawl (despite being only seven days old!). People say kids grow up fast. I am beginning to see this first hand in real time. It’s really amazing. Before our baby came to this world, my wife and I basically lived life going through our usual routines and habits. Seeing our baby girl grow up so fast makes us want to live in the present moment even more than ever before. If we don’t pay attention and appreciate the present, it will quickly be the past in the blink of an eye.
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Our priorities changed (slightly)
Prior to having kids, my wife and I had different priorities. We wanted to travel the world, save a lot of money, and be happy and healthy. While we still have those desires, our child is our top priority. We still love each other, but we can easily take care of ourselves. The same can’t be said about our newborn baby girl. We made her together, and she is completely dependent on us for her survival. It’s one of the reasons why the love a parent has for their child is so deeply raw and vulnerable. Everything that we do is for the best interest of our baby. From building a stable financial foundation to providing a clean and healthy environment for her to thrive in, it’s all for her.
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We are grateful for the love and support others have given us
Our families (parents, siblings, relatives) have given us so much love that we can’t thank them enough. The same can be said about our friends and coworkers. Everybody is so happy for us. Knowing that that I have such supportive coworkers/partners at work reinforces my sentiment that I do not want to RE even though we will likely be FI in several years. Being surrounded by wonderful people is truly a blessing.
Moving Forward
I would like to write a little bit more consistently. But because our baby is the top priority (as noted above), I’ll probably continue to write sporadically. We’ll see how it all plays out.
My goal is to write at least once a week. Maybe twice a week if I am ambitious. Something like Mondays and Wednesdays. [*Sigh*] So much to write, with so little time.
For now, back to diaper-changing and daddy duties.. 😉
Congratulations!! Really happy for you. The labor for my oldest dragged on for a couple of days as well, it was exhausting for me, I can only imagine how difficult it was for my wife.
Sounds like you have your priorities straight, enjoy it!!
Thanks MSF! I’m happy and proud to join the dad club! 😀
CONGRATULATIONS!! So happy for you. Your writing makes me consider for the first time that maybe a kid wouldn’t be the worst… they’re just so terrifying and overwhelming! But you make it seem magical and worth it 🙂 Take all the time you need, no pressure from us (I speak for all of the internet obviously).
Aw…thanks Budget Epicurean! I appreciate your kind words. Yes, having kids is a huge responsibility and a very personal decision (and unfortunately some people do not have the opportunity to make that decision). So far, our baby girl is easy and not terrifying. We feel blessed.
Wow congrats. Sleep when you can!
Doc G, definitely taking your advice. Sleep is so important!
Congratulations! You guys will be great parents. I almost forgot how hard it is to be first time parents. Enjoy the time because before you know it, they will be in middle school. Yikes!
Thanks Millionaire Doc! I always appreciate your positivity. Yes, trying to enjoy every moment with the little one.
Congrats man!!!!! That’s great. Being a dad is awesome.
No epidural, too? Dannnnggg. That’s all I can say there.
Seriously, though… Congrats. It’s an honor and a privilege to be a dad. Not everyone gets the chance to do that.
TPP
Thanks TPP! You’re right, being a dad is awesome. I had no idea until it happened to me 🙂
Game changer! Just brace yourselves for the unsolicited parenting advice that will start to bombard you…
We have recently ramped international travel with kids (8 and 10 currently, began in earnest last summer) so you will get to live those dreams again, perhaps more meaningfully as you see them through your kid’s eyes.
Relieved that mom and baby came through the process with their health.
Welcome to the club,
CD
Hi CD! Thanks for dropping by. It will be wonderful to take our kids when they are older and can appreciate things like museums and historical landmarks. Hopefully we don’t get too much unsolicited parenting advice…
Congrats! Having a kid is definitely a tiring, but extremely rewarding, experience. Sounds like you’re doing what you can to be a good father and husband. Remember to take care of yourself, too!
Best wishes!
Thanks SRGO! You’re right, it’s always important to take care of ourselves 🙂
Congrats on the baby! That is fantastic. Girls are the best. I was gifted with three of them and they are about the best thing in my life. Looks like we live in the same awesome city.
Hi Lane! I think we do in fact live in the same awesome city. We may also share the same way of life in terms of mindfulness and eating too…
So happy for you two. I look forward to reading your future post on parenting and all that changes with a new one arriving and sharing them with my wife as we prepare for our own little bundle of joy. Not that you have time to read, but if you do, I highly recommend John Gottman’s book entitled “And Baby Makes Three.” It is an excellent read!
Ohh, I like book recommendations. I think will check out “And Baby Makes Three”. I’ve been making more of an effort to set aside more time for reading. Thanks for the recommendation. So far parenting has been wonderful. My everyday life before we had our daughter was routine and semi-mundane. Now, every day is different, filled with wonderful surprises. Like her making a new funny face. Or her learning to hold up her head. Or her discovering she has arms and hands. Everything in this world is new to her and it’s fascinating to watch her grow. You’ll love your baby when you meet him/her 🙂
Congrats on becoming a dad!
I read your post about how your schedule has changed, as well. There is definitely a lot of self-sacrifice involved in parenting.
Mrs. Thrifty and I have little thrifty #3 on the way soon, and I am preparing to go back into battle mode. Hope you all are getting at least a little more sleep now.
I’m sure you already know it, but spend as much time with your little girl as you can! Sounds like you did a great job of taking on the extra responsibilities around the house that come with being a dad.
Hi Mr. Thrifty! Thanks for the congrats. Yes, a lot of self-sacrifice is involved in parenting. It has definitely made me more of a self-less person.
I am getting almost normal sleep now. My wife still gets interrupted sleep since she nurses our daughter back to sleep once or twice a night.
Congratulations on little thrifty #3 😀